What For?

 Just when you thought you had it all figured out…you find yourself writing your first “oh-this-life-is-so-darned-sad-they’ll-find-it-amusing" blog-post at 4 freakin’ AM in the morning! How did I mess up my head this bad in just 22 years - I wonder to myself and I get no comeback. Nothing. Zilch. Nada.

And even as I refer to the dictionary software on my PC to search for a synonym to ‘nothing and zilch’ to make “my blog” look vocabulary-wise adept, I wonder who am I doing all this for? Those poems…this blog and all the jazz that follows. Who for? WHAT FOR? What am I trying to do? 

Communicate maybe? Maybe I want people who read my blog to feel how I feel. Maybe I just have a human urge to TELL. Maybe I want the readers to go “Ooooh she writes well…” Or maybe I just want to be Miss Brag About My Blog; Something like “hey! You’re a blogger too? Me too! Check my blog out!”

I think it’s a little bit of everything. I certainly want to communicate. I want empathy. I want a little sympathy too, perhaps. And I surely want my share of ooohs and aaahs about my writing. Ah vain little me.

But most of all as I type with my index fingers (I wish I’d taken those god-damned typing classes!), as I write this unnecessary doo-doo, I realize I’m just thinking out loud and will be hopefully unclogging my brain while I’m at it.

So yea, getting back to the point. WHAT FOR?

The unending futile discussion of - Why are we the way we are? Fame, Love, Success, Money, Recognition, Appreciation, Respect, Happiness, Friends? WHY? What’s the use? Why do you need all of it? Wouldn’t you just be happier being a braided, non-bathed, carefree, cheery, beer-sipping, weed-smoking hippie at Anjuna beach in Goa? Or wouldn’t you rather have a cozy little hut in The Alps, with a farmer for a husband and a daughter you’d call Heidi?

All I’m really saying is that what’s the whole point to this hullabaloo? Why all the godforsaken stress? Ok let’s give ourselves the benefit of the doubt of being human and thus being greedy and a little obsessive-compulsive as well. So yes practically- money IS a requirement and everybody DOES want love and friendship but does that give one the right to try to attain these worldly pleasures/necessities at the cost of others and at the cost of oneself? Being jealous, being bitchy, being crazy mad competitive, dog-eat-dog, man-eat-man, crazy-mad-ceo-eat-crazy-mad ceo…sheesh! Is all the negativity even worth all the money and fame and success and blah?

I am no nun, I want my share of fame, money and success too, my problem is the way people are trying to attain it. Is there no nicer way to do this? Can’t you just be kind and happy and smiling and unselfish while you are at it and still manage to not get trodden upon?

De-stress I say! Stop getting too worked up, it’s not worth it. Complete your work on time, give yourself some me-time. Sing, Dance, Breathe. Smile. Love. Smile some more. Laugh out loud. And as one of my mad-lovely friends says: “wave at the clouds” :)

Wave at the god-damned clouds I say! What’s with all the gloominess, what's all the stress for? WHAT FOR?